Sing, Julia, Scream !

there's just so much to say.

2008-12-05T10:47:00.000-08:00

So many words run through my mind as I think of the moments I've spent with you. Seriously, feeling more or less..like something has been grabbed from me, something I wish would exist. I wish he knew, I just wish he knew. Or maybe he does, and yet, he chooses to ignore it because it's easier that way. Whatever it may be, he's the closest to home.

Well, talking about other things, other things. Anything else to get him out of my mind. Anyway, I've been passing rather uneventful moments. Or weekends. Or anything in general. Well no, not really. December just started, so we never know what might happen during this month. Maybe I'll fall in love, maybe I'll fall out of love. Whatever he is, I have to get out of this imaginary land.. get out from the moments spent with you, or generally, the lack of moments spent with you. There will neer be someone like you.

xo
Julia

today, the 16th of October.

2008-10-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

The LOSER/LONER speaks:

Hey.

I'm not sure about what exactly to write. I mean, it's been ages since I've actually typed my feelings out or shared how I really felt with anyone, let alone my blog, which is suppose to be like my diary. It's just I have no idea what to say, so many sentences jump out at me trying to be

published on a website but it just can't...Can't be seen.
I'm feeling rather silly nowadays, like a silly teenager that can't control her emotions, or hides her emotions too much. I feel like I haven't gotten angry or annoyed in a while, and that's pretty dangerous well, because obviously, if I don't feel annoyed, and keep my emotions bottled up ... when it does come out..It'll be like a minor explosion.
I mean, what can I say about today, it's like I'm rushing from one class to another class just to feel like I belong somewhere. I don't know, I'm feeling somewhat nomadic nowadays, like there isn't really a place where I belong. I'm really tired, and I have no idea what to say or do. It's like, right now, I should be studying for a French test, but part of me feels like, why on earth should I study for my French test...It's not like I'll end up using the language once I return to Malaysia. I don't know what's bringing on the emoness. But I certainly want it to go away.
I think I'm falling for someone that isn't good for me..and will never end up liking me. It's just, I'm not sure if I'm liking his beauty or his personality. The scary and sad thing is, I really like his personality, it's just, he's happy and random. I need happy and random. Yes, I know, I say that about every guy, but I fell in love with a completely different guy before him. That guy, I know, would have just made me angry if I were to date him, but who says he'd ever date me anyway. So no chance there.
I feel very silly nowadays. I keep using that word, I know, but I just don't know, it's just so annoying. I've spent over a thousand ringgit five hundred this month, paying for everything. It's just, everything keeps adding up and it's just so much money. I really want to go to England in Febuary, but it costs 250 euros and I don't know if I should spend that much, I mean, I'd love to go, more than anything, but can my budget allow me to go to England. GOOOOD!
I'm feeling slightly annoyed with my host sister, it's like, today, I asked her what time she commences school tomorrow, and she went off into this whole bitch fit saying I ask that question every thursday night. Sorry la beb, it's just I have nothing else to say to you. That's how much I'm not connected to you. Lol. Why doesn't anyone here click with anyone? I haven't found anyone I really click with and it's so horrible. I talk to everyone, but no, no one seems to click with me.
Meant for me;
Oh btw, Bruna, from CLA, I so can't stand you. I wish you'd just shut up and get out of CLA you noisy annoying peice of shit. It's like, oh my god, you think you're all that, but you're not. I AM. God, you annoying attention seeker.

aujourd'hui ;)

2008-10-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Minana, Poitelon, Deborah et Moi.

Moi, Poitelon et Deborah.

Seconde huit, je pense, je tu manque beaucoup :(

triste maintenant, je ecrit en la blog apres.

je t'aime.

sway my way

2008-10-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

It's been almost four weeks, and I know that I really have to update my blog. I'm just so uninspired, like, it's been forever since I've picked up a pen and wrote down how I felt. Like, I haven't even been able to write poetry.

The two weeks were rather dull, and I seriously don't have to much to write about it. I mean, I don't want to remember the times when I was frustrated and annoyed, and I could almost have killed myself over how annoyed I felt at that moment...I mean, I rather remember the great things about my stay, so for myself in the future, I'm definitely not going to mention them :)

The third week, oh my God, there's so much I can write about it. It was absolutely beautiful in every way. Like, at school, anyone who has read this blog remembers me fancying a guy...and like, he's been making me absolutely frustrated for the past two weeks, and like, this week, its finally registered in my mind that he and I are meant to be friends. Like I seriously think he and I can be best friends by the end of the stay, I mean, we just click. LOL! We like the same things, Damien Rice, Lord of the Rings, and well..photography&writing <3.

Okay, and I spoke to my classmates, in FRENCH. I truly do love some people like Marilene, Maxime the Goth, Betty the Ah-Lian, and Stan the red converse guy. They're normal, and they're the social rejects <3 JE T'AIME! I'm being serious and not sarcastic at this moment, so don't think I'm being horrible, because I'm not. Yes, we really get along well. Although, I do feel a tad bit like a sasquatch at times.

The third week: [the best week since i've been here]
Okay anyway, I spent the week talking to Francois and Raphael, and of course, hugging everyone. It was really nice to finally hug and not to kiss. Oh yes, I had what in my opinion, has to be the most different raya ever. Like seriously, I had phys.ed on that morning. How freakishly cool is that? I mean, it was frigging hilarious though, I should have been stuffing myself silly and yet there I was, running like mad. Ironic but cool =)

After that I had English, and I guess it was like every other English class. Lol, and then I went home, and chilled, then I had theatre practise <3. I really do love it, seriously. Hmm, after that, marked the best moment ever I had with my host family. Maman did the sweetest thing, she made a special meal with duck and potatoes. It was absolutely wonderful. Like I really felt at home, and after that, we ate gateau de chocolat <3. HOME!

After that on Thursday, and Friday, it just passed by really smoothly, I mean, I went swimming at the pool, and seriously, it was hilarious, because the French really don't care about nakedness no matter what size you are. How cool kan. Oh yes, totally random but I taught Antoine and Francois-Xavier how to do my ghetto handshake. =). Yo! After swimming, I had geography, and the geography absolutely loves me. I mean, who wouldn't. Haha, he speaks in English to me and he explains everything in English for me =)

Okay, so the weekend came. BEST TIME EVER. AFS CAMP <3.

AFS CAMP [4th - 5th October 2008]
I arrived there, and I randomly started hugging people. Okay, it was just introductions and after that we formed some random human chain where we had to get tangled and then untanggled again and again. It was fun, except for the fact that my pants kept falling down, and we got very intimate with some people ;). After that, I was with Pauline and Valein and we were talking about our very embarassing moments. Mine were completely gone. I had to explain something horrible in French ;)...but it was cool. Hmm...once we were done with that we had to go on some fromage quest.. I was in the group with Gabriela [Paraguay], Lucinda [United States], Switzerland, and Cem [Turkey]....It was fun =)

Lol, after, we were just chilling in the room and then we found out we had to do something for the talent show. I was in the group with Fillipo [Italy], Giulia [Italy], Gabriela, Nera [Croatia]..and we were singing "I'm yours". Sounded horrible with all our different accents, but I loved every second of it. <3

Hmm, apres nous mange le poisson avec riz. C'est moyen, et apres...nous mange ... guess quoi? LE FROMAGE. Mais, c'est pas bonne. Hmm... after that, we had a 'party' in our room. There wasn't any food or drinks, how pathetic. But it was cool, we spent the time talking about random stuff and taking photos.

Danielle, Melanie, Adrien, and I [avec Nera in le background], kept talking until about 3:30am... when Thomas the old old old co-geek [25yearsold] volunteer joined to talk about Battlestar Galactica =)...He and I received a rather large amount of insults from Adrien and Danielle, but we're cool. Also, while we were conversing, we found out that Guatemala is one of the coolest party countries ever.

The next day, we just talked and talked and talked some more.

I loved every second of that week...

...and to conclude the final moment, Clarissa called me and we spoke for an hour on the phone.

Je t'aime.

Julia

Special thanks to ;

Kelsey Rabindran.

hey O

2008-09-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

hello love.
c'est vendredi aujourd'hui...et je tres fatiguee parce que je avais en classe pour le francais! eettt, tres difficil lah dei. Anyway, I'm missing home terribly and sometimes I'm just so very annoyed with everyone.

Like seriously, I could almost murder my younger host sister. That fucking fifteen year old with a brain of a three year old. Oh my God, yes yes, we know you cry already...Stop showing your damn temper, you're fifteen for God's sake.

Summary of first three weeks.

2008-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay what to say.

Uh, this is the first blog in a really long time. Well, I've been in France for 21 days. It hasn't been completely easy, but hey you know, that's the life of an AFS student. Yeah, let me give you a short summary about each week.

First week ;

I arrived in France on the 22nd of August, the first person to arrive and I was so completely lost. Met the people from Hong Kong (who, btw, are totally stellar). After that, chilled wasted time and bla bla bla. Okay, met the people from Nouvelle Zealand...Some of them were really nice, and the others, well, lets not talk about them. Uhh, okay...Oh, found my Austrian B.F.F Irina Pober who is such a great friend that I don't know what I'd do without her now. On sunday, took the train to St. Brieuc, stopped at the wrong station...Lamballe. Was on the train with Cristina, Volx, and some random Asians. Met my family. They took me to a family fete, was totally horrible, it was just French french french, after lots and lots of English. I had a break down and sat down in the middle of the street. Okay now uhh, they took me to meet Papa's grandparents, where we were going to stay, Bonne Papa et Mamita. Really nice people. And I met my Uncle, Jerome, who is a bit of an alcoholic, but at least he's a happy one. Met Maile et Perine (cousins). And had break downs every day. Oh well, that's life. At the end of my stay, went to Grandmaman et Grandpapa's Anniversaire, met Valence, Natalie, and Florian Coville who are the most awesome cousins...Seriously. SAW FOUR HOT COUSINS. Louis, Alexis, Nikolas, and an unnamed one. Oh well

Second week :

Had a break down on my first day back in Versailles, it was just so horrible, being in a completely different country, and finally unpacking my stuff for the first time. It jsut really dawned on me that hey, I'm going to be here for one year. Was very horrile, but I survived. Okay, uhh, I started school. Which was even more horrible than expected. I had a break down on that day too. Spoke to absolutely NO ONE. Well, I did talk to Raphael, but he was just..on another level. And not a good level. Had Wednesday off. Was really lost on Thursday and Friday too. Oh, and on Saturday. Oh well. I've stopped crying around this time. Oh yes, I went to the Palace of Versailles..the garden anyway. OH MY GOD! So beautiful. Perfect spot to make out. =).

Third week :

This is where I am now and it's Friday evening. I had a very odd week. It passed by way too fast, and more than anything , I wish I could repeat that awesome Thursday ( 11th September 2008). The best Thursday in the word. Okay, umm, nothing especially interesting happened this week but yeah. I'm a little Asian stereotypical loner. STELLAR. But I'm getting better, and I love life, and I'm thankful I'm in France.

Special thanks to ;
Mummy & Daddy <3<3
Clarissa
Azhan (omg, BFF)
Nambee
Hanie
Maegan
Nadzir

Thank you all for being so supportive.

LOVE YOU.

Message in the bottle.

2008-08-19T03:43:00.001-07:00

2 days to France.
Aaah !

Graduated.

2008-06-19T02:54:00.000-07:00

It's beyond hard to explain the emotions that pass through me when I think of all the moments I miss about school, or all the memories I wish I kept because they didn't matter. Small little memorobilias from people I'll never meet again. It's hard to explain the people I use to see everday, the familiar faces, the troubling smiles. It's just stuck in mind. Why ? Congratulations Class of 2007/2008

back from Langkawi

2008-04-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

Langkawi ; 6th t0 9th April 2008
Nadia's Comfort Inn.

This is love.

Pictures to be posted soon.
xoox
Julia loves byes.

04/04/08

2008-04-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

Tcha.
Yes, I realised that today is the fifth but I had no time to write so yeah.
It was the unofficial last day of school for the seniors yesterday, and honestly, I can't help but feel emo because I'm starting to understand that no matter what Sayfol's bad traits might be, it still brought me to the awesome friends that I have now.
Clare, Auleep, Nadzir, Hanif, Kristian, Sarah, Ofeaa, Lara, Geneviv, Neesha. I mean, could I possibly imagine life without them? I think not my dear friends. Apart from those that I've mentioned, there are many others that I should mention but I can't right now.
I'm sad.
"All we need is candlelight, you and me, and a bottle of wine"
Never never never am I going to forget the awesome sayfolians.
Sayfol, Represent !

Julia says bye.

Sports day '07 -Mabel, Clare, and I.

Auleep, Lian, Mabel, Lara, Nadzir, Jack, Kelvin, Tisa, Me, and Timo.

Hanging out.

This is love.

I got my results !

2008-04-02T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Life,

I got my results. Passed all, except Malay [I don't know the results yet]. Oh my dear, I'm extremely overjoyed with the fact that I get to do all my 'o' level exams in May. YAY! It's the total shizneeey. Anyway, today, was in a way, rather fun. Apart from me stressing out and going psycho saying " oh my god!!! I'm going to fail ". Truly, I feel really happy, even though my results aren't exactly excellent.
Think positive sugar. xoooo

Oh, I spent time with Clare, Hanif and Kristian today, just talking crap, and me harassing them to take of their shirts so I can see their supposed 'six pack'/abs. But no....nothing there.

Here are some photos from today ;

tisa and hanif.
Kristian and I.
Oh STAAAR.

Clare and Tze. Perfect picture of the day. <3

These are my homies. My Love. My Life.

Julia loves her home dogs. YOO!
P.s - I is so cool, I is making you look like fool. GHETTO OF KL YO!

Dengarkan, dengarkan lagu ini.

2008-04-01T05:34:00.000-07:00

Selamat Malam Malaysia,
Jangan dendam, jangan risau.
Whoa! That was written in Malay, I'm shocked. Lol, RANDOM! Well thoughts for today, for my boring-black-hole-sucking-any-form-of -joy life, is nil. I can't think today. It's just one of my boringly boring days, except for the fact that Trudy came over and we just wasted time with Jeff.
Sitting in the garden and discussing about the meaningless ideas of life.
I'm so scared of falling in sleep, in case, I wake up tomorrow and I face my results. Dear God, I hope I did really well. Apart from that, my life is just a mellow yellow state.
I'm so nervous, it gives me butterflies.

Pray for me.
Julia.

End of trials :(

2008-03-31T05:13:00.000-07:00

Bonjour, mon amie!

In a way, I feel as though I kept avoiding the fact that trials are over. I'm so nervous for my results and yes, I know that I did a horrible thing today. I mean, instead of going to check on my provisional entries...I avoided going into the office. I'm bloody scared of facing the music, so right now I'm just turning my head away. I'm afraid of my parents judging me, telling me I didn't study and provisional entries not being excepted. I'm really really really scared.
I'm praying that I do well, seriously. So yes, like I was saying, apart from my exams, my life has been pretty mellow recently. Apart from today...like for example, for the first time in ages, I went out. But like, I went out for lunch with Manual and Dina who were totally pigging out at Paddington's House of Pancakes.
Aww....Every time I see the word Paddington, I keep thinking about the awesome bear. <3.
JULIAAA IS NERVOUS!
Random...weird...Okay back to the thing, we had like this overly sweet thing [dina and I], and Manual ordered some burger which was beyond delicious. We're such disgusting pigs... But then, the one thought that's keeping me going.
FRANCE!!
Sorry, Elizabeth Rocha, but I still think there's something great to look forward too.. Nothing about love or whatever, but just life.
Some minor explosion :)

I love to love.
Julia loves peace.
xoo

People, pleaces and lives.

2008-03-30T04:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my Lord...France!!

I know I shouldn't really be excited at this point of time but I truly can't help it. I mean, I really want to do well for my o levels and everything, but seeing Anouk, Mostafa, Pedro, Frederik, Clara, Hans, Sarah, Sussanah, Paarma, etc leave and the fact that I'm always left behind is shit. And now, I get to leave...I mean, I can't help but feel ecstatic. I mean, wouldn't you?
French, the language of Romance isn't exactly looking friendly to me right now, with all the grammar and the proverbs. Freaking bloody hell, how on earth am I going to survive IF I go there.
God, how pitiful, the big IF still plays an important part in my role as a student.
I'm filling up the mindless pages of the application forms right now and I truly can't think of what I should right. Uhh "oh wow, my family and friends like love me", blonde much? And apparently, if I go to school there, I'd be in year ten, aaargh, how sad is that, I've just left Malaysia as a graduate and yet I return as a student.
Saaaad.

this is what the website for AFS France says;
"Classe de Seconde (10th grade) This is the first year of high school. Compulsory subjects : French literature, two foreign languages, history and geography, maths, physics and chemistry, biology, economics, sports. "
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

represent Malaysia yo !

as you can see, I'm starting to feel the French feeling.

Julia loves you.
xooo

Surpression.

2008-03-29T05:11:00.000-07:00

Within the years I've been alive, I've realised that there is more to the world that one really sees.
I mean, no shit Sherlock?
So as we grow older, we begin to understand how the world and its inhabitants really work. Everyone talks about racial equality and unity but where do we see it? In my last post, I somehow insulted the government but as I ponder deeper into the situation. I begin to understand that the world doesn't really revolve around the things that matter. I mean, we are such small beings compared to the rest of the universe, and yet we choose to bicker about not being equal. There are so many races in this world. Truly what makes us different from any other? We have different exterior characteristics, but look deeply, we are all the same.
WE HAVE THE SAME BLOOD !

In Malaysia, we talk about unity and equality within the races. We have three different races; Malay, Indian and Chinese..Such a small amount of different cultures and yet we still argue. We talk about how the Malays' always receive opportunities and other races don't. As much as I hate to admit it, its true. I do understand things from the Malays' point of view... I mean they don't want another May 13th Riot to occur.
But at least give everyone the right to freedom of speech?
Julia wants peace. xoo

Saturday morning with nothing to do.

2008-03-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

Hello hello again.
Its Saturday and I have absolutely nothing to do. Extremely bored. Hmm hmm, maybe I should study for Malay, or maybe I should not. Hehehe! Yes anyway, I'm very bored right now and I'm not as emo as I was yesterday. Yesterday was a real bitch, I mean, helllooo? I have feelings too!
I got accepted to go to France!! Woot woot! *joy dance* I mean, I haven't told the gang yet, I hope they'll like feel proud of me. But like, I don't want to leave them, I mean, can you imagine life without Clarissa's phone calls, or Auleep's laaaame pick-up lines ;).
I'm doing my little rock and roll dance right now, in the chair.
I rock :)
Listening to ; The Seeds by The Roots.

Oh another important factor that I would love to talk about, since nobody listens would be the state of our government right now. I mean, what the hell right? Only after elections, the government begins to 'pretend' to care. I mean, Barisan Nasional? You call yourself a democratic government and yet your Prime Minister gives all the important positions and opportunities only to people that are somehow related to him? I mean, how much corruption is present in our government. And what's with the inequalities within the races? I mean, its bloody sad to see all the opportunities only given to the Malays [I'm a malay]. I mean, can't we have equal rights among everyone. Its so bloody unfair that life is this way. I mean, we're all equal. We have the same blood, the same bones. Just because our skin colour, it doesn't make our blood any redder or our bones any whiter?

I see the government screwing up everyone. I mean, who are we in the world? Why is there so much corruption? Is this the country that you want to say "I'm proud of being Malaysian", God damn it Malaysia, try to think of the people here. Why do you think everybody wants to runaway to another country? It's because of the system of it all...

think twice about life.
peace. love. anarchy.

Julia.

Mr. New Blog

2008-03-28T05:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, dearest Life,
I'm in a explicit state of boring-staringoutintonothingdom-euphoria.
Its been ages since I've last written here, so excuse me for my lack of vocabulary in all things, after all, what can you expect from a girl like me. Anyway, an update on my life you say, well, I'm in Year. 11 A now and I'm almost graduating. Totally shocking, isn't it? I mean, little-big-Julia almost growing up now. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Omfg! Emo, much? Looking back at my old blog posts, I mean, it just reminds me of how attention seeking I was, and I truly almost pity myself for it. I really really really miss acting like a child...I mean, life is getting all serious now, its like, the average topic for our conversations now days are like "which college are you going into?" and "what kind of course will you take?". I mean, its hard enough we're all letting each other go, but exams. God, exams.
I had my trials exams recently, correction, I'm having my trial exams right now. My last paper is on Monday and its Malay. So yes. I feel like its not okay for me to feel relaxed because if I fail, my parents would feel disappointed with me and my results.
And they'll just act psycho. God, I'm really scared now. I mean, I know I'm not like Clarissa or Auleep or Jack, but hey? I'm still slightly above average, I like to think so. So yes, about my life...
its driving me mad, but I have to, I have to grow up.
Julia Elyza

From the left ; Alex, Vinod, Clarissa, Nadzir, Jose, Grace, Jack, Thao, Me, and Auleep

From the left : Kristian, Vinod, Auleep,Me, Japna, Shameet, Jack, Ofeaa, Nasreen, Tze Yang, Clariss, Lara, and Johan.

I want you. I want you. I'm trying to forget you, but I still can't have you.

2006-12-26T07:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Malaysia =)
I like this guy, I really do. I don't think its ever been like this before, and it really makes me wonder. I don't know anything about him, and he knows nothing about me. I'm trying to discover whats wrong with me, but its not working. I can't analyse it. I feel meandered, empty and shallow. I know whats his definition of beauty, and I know I won't suit it. I know I can't have him, but I have my desires. I love his smile, his great smile. I love the way, when he touches me...a thousand electric volts are shot. I love the way he looks at me everytime he says something. God damn it, i like him, is it too hard to believe ? I haven't felt this way for so long, and hes right here. Right in front of me, but how hard I try, I know I can't have him. Hes too nice, and I'm afraid he might find me to be a sister. God damn it, I wish I had an answer, I keep searching for one, but I can't find it. Its driving me insane, I've never liked anyone like this before. Every moment spent with him, is just beyond. I feel...like I could just give him my heart, and he'd be able toI understand it. Corny as it may seem, its beyond correct. Can't forget the way I met him, he was just beyond. Hes nice, and I'm sooo afraid hes feelings towards me are sisterly. Bloody hell, will someone help me before its too late ? I don't want to fall for another guy, not another guy like this. I'm so scared, scared of the brittleness of my heart. I want you, I want you, but no matter how much I want you, I still con't have you. I'm trying to find an answer, but I can't. Give me something easy, so I can read you, so I can understand you. I want you, I want you. I just want to act normal around you, to be myself, but I can't.

He just doesn't get it.
Julia.

Literature and Chemistry

2006-11-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

Life is an emo whore who shows her tantrum all the time.
Hello Malaysia. Today is a depressing day, I've been awake since 3am, and I'm so bloody tired.
I get home .... I get treated like shit by te people I live with. How nice, right ? I'm lost in a world of fools, unable to breathe. Anyhow, I had my chemistry and literature exam today, chemistry was a total bitch, but literature was good [i hope it was anyway]. Sayfol is such a stupid school, and i hate it, but whatever, i'll survive. One and half more years to go, right ? Me thinks, a lot of things are going to slowly change. Relationships, friendships and whateverships. Get ready for a whole load of hardships of tears and stress. I've got a headache and my head can't stop spinning. I came home today, to find the clothes on the clothing line haven't been picked up yet, toasters were out, when theres a fucking toaster shelf next to it. God...The people I live with. Soon enough, things will change, they say their old, but is it possible for them to act matured ? I'm always being lectured, on how I have to act more like my age, but how do you expect me to be something I'm not. I grew up this way, and there seems to be nothing to change it. I love how friendships are turning out now, but I have a sad feeling that some things might change with the friendships. It seems to perfect to be true. I know thats negative thinking but I can't help it. I'm so tempted to go back to the things I once did, and it scares me, how I scare myself. I'm a creation of an unknown species. I never wanted to fit in, I never settled myself to be only a person someone knows. I want everyone to know me, and it scares me that I might never see myself to be a famous photojournalist as how I see myself becoming. I want the people who I'm close with now to know that I'll always love them, no matter what I do. If I hurt them or not, I'm sorry. School... Graduation seemed so far away in Yr.6, then Yr.7, then Yr.8, then Yr.9...and now Yr.10.. I feel someone trapt behind my fears. I'm scared of live changing in anyway that I'm not use too. Its not my fault that I'm not used to such things. I can't believe I'm confessing my unatural innermost feelings into this blog. Which people, may or may not read.

Anyways, I have to go now
Kisses from me always =)

Hey baby =)

2006-11-17T00:33:00.000-08:00

Hellooo Beautiful = D
God...Today I had my maths and english exam. Maths was a drag, but English was okay. Like omfg, Mays, I'm sooo sorry. Sayfol is so fucking evil. Ommft, by the way, I do have to say this... KL is OUR playground, not theirs. MURDER THEM ! =). I have to make it a point to write in this blog today, for Auleep. Apparently, he enjoys my life [Omfft, that sounded beyond wrong. Seriouslyy, I never thought this bunch of people that I have now would make me so incredibly happy that I wouldn't know how'd i breathe without them. Omg, its raining right now. And its scaring me, the thunderstorms....Its beyond frightening. Let me give you highlights of this week, on monday, friday seemed lightyears away. on tuesday, i gave studying a second thought. on wednesday, i DID NOT sit next to Nadzir and Auleep during physics [ your should be so fucking proud], i had the best history class ever. on thursday, japna and i couldn't stop talking for hourS. Yeahhh...on friday, i wrote a creative writing composition about divorce from a childs point of view. I think I'm going to flunk maths, but whatever. I'm so fucking tiredd right now. I started this blog on friday, and now its sunday...what the hell man ? Anyways...life is being a total whore right now. I'm sooo sick of the exams causing everyone to be so bloody uptight. I miss hanging out with the k.l bitches, i'm serious... I miss our corny shitty ways of doing what we do. I truly really really really miss talking to the italians...seriously, life seems so bloody boring without them. I have a proposition, lets all go out and get high. I'm talking absolute bullshit right now. I'm just really really really tired. I can't help it. Anyways... I go to go now, with love from julz.
KISSES !

Selina

2006-11-14T02:06:00.000-08:00

Selina, my sister.
I can't bear the thought of not being in the same country as you, I can't believe your leaving. I think I'm really going to die without you. Life isn't going to be the same without you in Malaysia. I'm feeling soo lonely right now, I need mi hermana. My german hermana from 'the little village' who takes 'porn pictures' hahaha. I miss you so much Selina Blum =). My friend since April. I remember, when you were first leaving to Terengannau I was sooo sad. I wish I could see you now and hug you and talk to you, about stupid things, about serious things. I miss you so much soo soo sooo much, and to think that I might not be able to see you. Seliii , the breif history : selina and i met over afs. she came to my house on transit. the moment she came, we became such good friends. the next day we told everything to each other. And we couldn't stop talking. She stayed at my house for two weeks and we created an irreplaceable bond that nothing can top. I love Selina Blum to bits, now and forever.
i LOVE selina blum for the rest of my life now and forever
knuddel shmatzi. muchos besos. muito beijo. <3.

Wanna please me ?

2006-11-12T23:57:00.000-08:00

Helloo Beautiful .Anyways, let me give you a breif introduction of my friends [they'll be mention a lot in this blog] and I. My name is Julia Elyza. I'm currently in Malaysia, and schooling at Sayfol Int. ONE AND A HALF MORE YEARS TO GO BABY ! I love to travel and to dance.
I love my best friends :
Clarissa Liewen Liew : My best friend, my blood sister, my saviour.
I love her with my whole heart.
And I'd give her the world if I could <3
I've known her for 12 years and shes always been my best friend. I seriously will not survive without her. Shes like the total contrast of me and thats why I love her. She makes me smile on a rainy day, she could make me cry on a sunny day. She makes me laugh like a mad cow. She always finds a way to make me angry, but I still love her. Shes a sister to me, and always will be. She has always been there and always will be. I love Clarissa for the rest of time. <3.

Mabel Chow Swet Sun : My best friend, my blood sister, my life.
I love this girl, I've learnt so much from her. She's always been there for me since we were young. Roughly, I've been best friends with her for 12 years too. Shes my life and I definitely won't survive without her.

Lara Bernadette Alfarez
I love her soo much. Shes my brain, shes my life, shes my saviour. She's always been there for me for life. I can't imagine how it would be not to see her everyday, with her smile and her totally corny jokes. Shes my love and I'll always lover her. <3.>

Maegan Yip and Lian Ng : My best friends, my blood sisters, my heroes.
I love this two girls too much. Their incredibly responsible, and their always taking care of me. They make me laugh, they make me happy, their my blood sisters for life.<3.

Nadzir Shamsul Khalid Ismail : My blood brother, my saviour, my heart.
My brother, God...I don't know how life would be without him telling me stupid things, how life would be without him at all. He and I have been best friends for...2 years, but I feel like I've known him since I was a child. Hes my best friend and I will always cherish his friendship. I don't know how I can graduate school without him, hes the only thing keeping me sane in this asylum. Hes my blood brother and always will be. I can't survive without him and I can't even bear the thought of not seeing him for a year if I go to Brazil.
Hes gonna be stuck with me for a long time. Hes the best of the best and always will be.
Love you now and always. <3.>
Auleep Ganguly : My best friend FOR NOW. My compromise.
God...Theres so much I could say about Auleep, my white macaa. Hes the best of the best. i tell you, I don't know what I'll do without him. He will always find ways to make me smile my big happy smile. But theres one thing I hate about him...Sitting next to him in physics.
But i love you, and always will.

Japna Kaur Sidhu Brar: My soul mater, my best friend, my blood sister.
Ooh,Japna...My life. I can't believe how much I love her now. Shes a great best friend who always cheers me up with her 'isms' and love for rock. Shes like my helper, my sweet annoying twin. Shes hilarious, fun, crazy, annoying, hyper and odd at times. I love this girl to bits and I can't survive a day without her. I've been best friends with her for like, 3 months? And now, I can't even describe how horrible life would be without her. Shes my no.1 macaaa, and always will be <3.>
Catemo : My related-by-emoism-brother.
Hes an alien. Hes a catemo. Hes weird, and I love him to bits. Hes easy to talk to and always there when you need a friend. Hes the best of the best.

Jack Lee : My blood brother and my best friend .. forever xx
Hes a weirdo. Jessica Alba obsessed. Computer nerd...and I love him, hes hilarious fun to be with. Such a loser, wait. FAT LOSER. Hahaha, I can't survive a day without Mr. Jack Less and his very very lame corny jokes. His laugh is contaigious, stupid and everything else idiotic. I love shouting at the russians with him. Its just plan fun =D.
I love you Jack jack/ jack-a-dahling. <3.>
Vinod Chandran. Johan Louis Garcia Candal. Kristian Soon. :
My brothers. My best friends. My saviours. My loves.
I love this bunch of boys to bits and they all make me laugh, from their corny jokes to their random thoughts. Their the people that I grew up with and I've known them for 10 years. We've been through the thick and thin with each other and now and forever, I will always love them.

This are the people I will forever love, if I've forgotten anyone, please message me, I'm just writing about the people who I'm close to now. I love them all...so soo soo soo much thats its almost an obsession

Iloveyouallforlife,andfortherestofmylife.

x Julia

I'm trying to confess.

2006-11-10T02:49:00.000-08:00

Begging to be 'different'
I love you, I love you, I love you.
My heart screams out to be heard.
Its so hard to think, to think of what might.
You and only you
YOU MAKE ME SMILE
You could make me cry if you wanted too.
I can't sleep, I can't think.
I can't survive, I can't breathe.
I THINK OF YOU AND ONLY YOU
Can't you hear my desperate crys ?
Can't you see what you've done to me? You've made me happy
I don't want to be with you
And yet my heart just begs for you, beg beg begs for you.
I think I've fallen IN LOVE
.... what a mistake ...
I should have stayed away from you?
I can't, I can't.
I can't imagine what life would be ... without YOU
Forever In Love
Me thinks you've put a spell on me.
Help me find an answer. Oh please, help me find the anser.

With Love
Julzsweeptea

Passion ~

2006-01-14T05:18:00.000-08:00

I couldn't wait for everything to stop. I just wanted my head to stop spinning. My life to stop . My head is filled with a thousand bees all buzzing at once. I don't know where I'm headed. I'm looking away. Tears wound my eyes. They feel burnt. Everything used to be so simple. I'm going insane. I use to know things, and now I don't. I feel as though I'm in love. My heart is burning in the fires of hell. My stomach is hosting millions of butterflys. I think I'm in love. Your smile. Your eyes. Your words. Their killing me. Electric energy pass thru us whenever we touch. We have nothing in common...and yet everything between us in perfect. You keep me alive. You keep me sane. Your my original sin. I don't know where I'm going. I feel as though each time you come closer, I move further. I'm afraid. I've never been afraid. What have you done to me?
To make me feel...Feelings that I have never felt before its driving me insane. Words are only words. Yet...What we have is more than words. Energy passes thru us. Language is not a barrier. We don't understand each other and yet...We know everything about each other.
x Try to understand me.